Sabrina Schmidt

Why we should sometimes not believe our own thoughts

Beliefs are a bit like little habits we have about ourselves: They go unnoticed for a long time. So we don't question what we are doing and label it as normal.

Despite their invisibility, beliefs are nevertheless very powerful: they influence what we think, how we feel, and ultimately how we decide: Because they are deeply rooted basic assumptions in our psyche that we have about ourselves and life. And which we think are true.

They develop from personal experiences and sayings that we have heard throughout our lives: In childhood from our parents and caregivers or in adulthood from friends, partners, or superiors. These imparted images can influence our perception and thus grow into fixed belief patterns that play themselves out automatically without us consciously noticing.

Beliefs: How they can stop or motivate us

There are positive as well as negative beliefs: The former can really inspire us and support us in living the life we want. A belief like 'I am good the way I am' is benevolent and gives us courage. It makes us and what we are capable of appearing in a good light. But more neutral phrases like 'Life has ups and downs and that's okay' are also counted as positive beliefs.

Negative beliefs like 'I can't do anything' or 'I'm not worth it' on the other hand, give us a negative self-image. One that makes us feel small and slows us down.

Whether in relation to our self-worth or relationships: We all hold different beliefs inside - both positive and negative. But when the negative beliefs predominate, they can quite limit our quality of life and keep us from being authentic.

Negative beliefs: How can we free ourselves from them?

You may feel uneasy about how much power our trained thinking patterns can have over us. But here comes an important message: we are not helplessly at the mercy of beliefs. We can actively work on them, especially if they block us. Therefore the first step is:

1. Become aware of your beliefs

By making our inner beliefs clear to ourselves, we regain power. It helps if we realise that they are just thoughts or a voice in our head. It may be quite loud because it has long secured its place in our heads as a long-established pattern - but it is not us, it is not reality.

So as a first step, go into introspection to get to know your beliefs: Do you have assumptions about yourself and life in general or beliefs that keep reoccurring? It is worthwhile to stop and listen to yourself, especially in situations that are challenging for you: What assumptions are you making here, perhaps even over and over again?

Also, think back to moments when you were not doing so well: When do these negative thoughts and feelings occur, and do you associate them with a memory from the past? Do signal words appear in your head? Beliefs often contain generalising or absolute statements like always, never, must, no one, etc.

We have compiled a list for your further help. Maybe you have your own beliefs - they are so individual that no list could ever be complete.

2.Reality Check: How true is the belief?

When you have become more aware of your beliefs, take a close look at them: How much truth is there in them? Ask yourself why you believe in them. Are there past experiences that explain why you think that way about yourself?

Maybe they matched your past challenges or your past experiences. Some negative beliefs may also have had a positive intention: For example, to protect us from disappointment or pain. Often, however, we continue to develop while still carrying the same beliefs - and they may be limiting ourselves.

Now ask yourself: Do these assumptions still correspond to your life today? Consciously take time for this fact check and stay curious about what shows up for you. If you have difficulties finding enough "proof" for your inner beliefs, you may take this as an encouragement to refute the belief system.

3. Reformulate the belief positively

Are your old thought patterns now shaking? Now it is up to you to let go of them. What makes this possible is the so-called neuroplasticity: the lifelong ability of your brain to change through new impressions and experiences. It's quite a superpower that allows us to transform negative beliefs into positive affirmations.

You can think of these as small, encouraging beliefs that help you restructure your perception and build a positive self-image to find stability within yourself. It's not about instilling a "think positive" or even an unrealistic image like "I can do anything!" - rather, they support us in talking to ourselves in a more benevolent and loving way.

When building your affirmation, it is important that it corresponds to your values and that you can identify well with it. Only then can you believe it and let it accompany you in the process of letting go. It should be positive, but also realistic and have a connection to the present. An example of how you can move from a negative belief to a positive affirmation:

I have to be perfect! -> I am enough! I can't do it anyway! -> I trust myself! Work first, then pleasure! -> I'm allowed to indulge myself!

4. Allow yourself to have new experiences.

You've come a long way so far! Now it's time to get out of your head and into action: Because as important as it is to have found your positive affirmation for yourself, it is also important to practice it on a practical level. Only then it can help to create a long-term, sustainable change in your behaviour.

So get ready to go out and have new experiences. What experiences do you need in your everyday life to disprove your old beliefs? What experiences can support you to really live out your positive affirmations and anchor them in your actions?

To do this, you can make agreements with yourself or set small resolutions that lure you out of your comfort zone. What they are is just as individual as your affirmation. Give yourself the freedom to face new situations and open yourself up to new experiences. This way you can grow into a new behaviour in which your old beliefs no longer have any place. 5.

5. Be patient with yourself

Now it's time to practise: Practice and be patient with yourself, because you have initiated a very important process that takes time. Our brain is a creature of habit and a negative belief system that we have carried for years will not disappear overnight.

So you don't have to feel bad or guilty if you find yourself falling back on your old beliefs. That is also part of it: Because as soon as we get in touch with the outside, resonance comes back, which will challenge us in our thought patterns - and perhaps trip us up. In such moments, be kind to yourself and gently make yourself aware that you are doing something that you can be proud of. See the process as an adventure that helps you discover the authentic you.

*If you feel that you cannot face your beliefs alone, it is important to seek psychological support.

Image: Teona Swift on Pexels